You would have been 51 today.
I would have phoned.
You would have said ‘Hi, Lil!’
We would have chatted,
And laughed, and gossiped.
Hours later,
‘I would have said, ‘Bye, El!’
It would have been so special.
Nobody else would have understood
Our private jokes,
Our childhood fears,
Our secret dreams…
I wouldn’t have written this poem with brine,
If you hadn’t ripped a piece of my heart
When you left.
If you hadn’t been unlawfully killed,
You would have been 51 today.
Rereading Jane Eyre 
So does this touching free verse have some basis in fact?
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Yes. It was, I mean would have been, my sister’s birthday yesterday. I couldn’t sleep, so I wrote this instead. It was some relief for the brine I was tasting. Sorry for the dark mood, but sometimes you just can’t keep it under control… Feeling much better this morning 🙂
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I’m so sorry! Her leaving left a big scar and some of those scars never really heal completely. I have a post for next week that deals with one of mine, but not this week – it’s a happy time1
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Poems like this – dragged out from somewhere so deep – are so powerful. I’m so sorry it takes that to create something so powerful
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Words help. That’s why we write to ourselves and to each other 🙂 Thank you.
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This is a beautiful and moving poem.
I am so sorry about your sister.
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Thank you. She left 25 years ago, but of course, the scar is always there…
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Thanks for sharing this with us. It must be hard to think of her and ask yourself “what if” or simply missing her… I hope your scar gets smoother and smoother. Hugs!
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Thank you:) My daughter recently had a daughter, whom she named Elsa, which was my sister’s name. I think it will help to call her name and see a beautiful baby, instead of an empty space.
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