#FridayFictioneers ‘Dancing Shoes’ #FlashFiction

Posted byLucciaGrayPosted inFriday FictioneersTags:, ,

It’s Friday, time for another Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction story with adorable and creative Alice and her incredulous and conventional parents, Marsha and Kevin. Today they’ll be visiting her grandmother’s house, on a sad occasion, or is it?

Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting the challenge, and Magaly Guerrero for today’s photo prompt, which led me directly to this weeks’ 100-word story.

PHOTO PROMPT © Magaly Guerrero

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Dancing Shoes

Alice rushed down the stairs and flew into the library.

‘Can we move here tomorrow?’ she asked her parents as she slipped on her grandmother’s black, laced shoes and danced around the room.

Kevin’s jaw dropped. ‘Marsha, what’s happening to our Alice?’ he asked his wife. ‘Your mother’s still at the funeral parlour. We haven’t even buried her yet!’

‘Granny wants us to move in at once. I have to look after all her books and manuscripts.’

‘When did she tell you that?’ asked Marsha.

‘Just now. She’s not ill any more. She’s better, that’s why she’s come back home.’

Or

‘Just now. She’s not ill any more. She says she’s sorry, but she had to go.’

****

Which ending do you think is best?

I like them both, but I find the first a little disturbing, as if she’s going to remain as a ghost, albeit a ‘friendly’ ghost, while the second is more optimistic. she’s gone to a better place…

All my ‘Alice’ flash fiction written for the Friday Fictioneers Challenge can be read as standalones, but if you’re interested in reading previous stories of Alice’s adventures, here  they are!

 If you’d like to join in Friday Fictioneers or read other posts check Rochelle’s Blog for rules and prompts. 

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Published by LucciaGray

Writer, blogger, teacher, reader and lover of words wherever they are. Author of The Eyre Hall Trilogy, the breathtaking sequel to Jane Eyre. Luccia lives in sunny Spain, but her heart's in Victorian London.

22 thoughts on “#FridayFictioneers ‘Dancing Shoes’ #FlashFiction”

  3. Dear Luccia,

    Given that we already know Granny’s dead, ie at the funeral parlor, I prefer the first ending. I think the second ending would be amazing if instead of the funeral parlor, Granny was still on a ventilator. Anyway, I love the story either way. Alice and her grandmother obviously had a symbiotic relationship.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Hi Rochelle. I hadn’t thought that she might still be alive. That’s a good idea. It might be nice to keep her granny in the picture, as a physical presence, rather than out of the storyline. Thanks for your insight 😍. I’ll have to think about it.

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  4. Lovely to see Alice again. I prefer the first ending because it is a bit disturbing (at least for the parents), it adds that little extra kick. The second is more conventional, but both work. I guess it depends on where you want to go with Alice and her grandma.

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  6. I like both endings for different reasons. The first ending gives it a creepy punch at the end (creepy for the parents anyway). The second ending is more sentimental and fits a bit better with Alice having to look after the books and manuscripts. Both work and it is a great story either way.

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  11. I preferred the first ending, as I like the idea of a benevolent ghost around the place. At least I hope she is and giving Alice all those tasks doesn’t mark granny out as a harridan. Love the scene you drew here.

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Thanks for reading, feel free to like, share and comment!

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