This post is written in response to Linda Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS) prompt
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “an-” Use it as a word or find a word that starts with the letters “an” and make it your post’s theme. Have fun! Everyone’s welcome. Join in if you like! Just let your mind go there…
When I was a child, I went to St Joseph’s Primary School, a convent school where I was taught among other things to believe in angels; invisible spirits sent by God on a mission to accompany me and help me make difficult decisions, especially regarding good and evil.
As a child, evil was never anywhere near my mind, and I never actually felt I needed an angel for that purpose, although I would have appreciated someone to talk to, like an older sister, or a sympathetic adult, but that didn’t happen, so I’m repairing that situation now, with my time-travelling angel.
I’ve become my own angel. I’m the sympathetic adult who listens to the confused child and tells her what a wonderful life is waiting for her. I’m helping the little girl I was, become the self-confident and happy adult I am.
How do I heal the insecure, shy, and scared child I once was? How can you do it?
Easy. Here’s my method.
It all started with an old school picture, which I placed in a frame on my landing some years ago. I’m about seven or eight years old. Every time I saw myself, I smiled and said, sometimes out loud and sometimes in my mind, something positive. ‘You look great!’, ‘Lovely smile!’, ‘Clever girl’, etc… and I realised it made me feel good.
It grew from there.
Later, with or without the picture prompt, I remember events, which happened, sometimes just a normal, boring, or sad day, and I mentally chat to the little girl, reminding her that she’s preparing herself for the future, and that wonderful experiences and events await her.
I tell her about something that has happened or is happening years later, like: ‘You’ll publish your novel in the end,’ or ‘you’ll travel to such a place or meet such a person…’
I also advise her about how she should behave, like, ‘read as much as you can,’ or ‘don’t waste time with people you don’t like,’ or ‘look after yourself’ etc.
I also listen to how she feels. I have a sort of interior dialogue and I help her think things through. I feel much better after our ‘conversations’.
I’m sure it works, because I feel happier in my skin the older I get.
Who’s your angel?