Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction: Turquoise

This week’s Carrot Ranch 99-word flash fiction is on the topic of turquoise. 

Some years ago, I visited a Ute Reservation, and I bought a turquoise stone necklace as a present for a friend. She has beautiful blue-turquoise-blue eyes, and the minute I saw the gem, I thought of her. I know her well, so I was sure she’d like it, unlike the person in my flash!

Presents are wonderful tokens which bring us close to the people we love and appreciate. Giving is as rewarding as receiving, and thoughtfulness is more important than any other consideration, such as price. The better you know the person, the easier it is to find just the right present, but it doesn’t always work out. Read on…

 

800px-Turq_mcGuin_bunker

Turquoise

“What’s your mother’s favorite color, Chelsea?”
He smiled. I rolled my eyes and supposed Tom was trying to bond with that gross question.
He’s been dating my mother for months, and he still doesn’t know her favorite color? Don’t they ever talk?
“Turquoise. Get her a necklace, with matching bracelet and earrings.” 

*****

So I bought Alice the necklace, bracelet, earrings and a pair of turquoise sandals, too, hoping to gain Chelsea’s approval.
I realized something was terribly wrong when Alice opened the presents, gasped and giggled.
“We need to talk about Chelsea,” she sighed and patted my hand lovingly.

 

Tutmask

 

Turquoise is one of the oldest gems known to man. It has adorned the rulers of Ancient Egypt, Aztecs, Persians, Mesopotamia, and China. It was not introduced to Europe until the 14th century, probably through the Silk Road through Turkey.

One of the most famous turquoise adornments Is Tutankhamun’s burial mask which was adorned with rings and necklaces which were set in gold, with inlaid turquoise stones.

One question about my flash:

You probably noticed there were two first person narrators. Does this work with such a short piece of fiction?

 

About LucciaGray

Writer, blogger, teacher, reader and lover of words wherever they are. Author of The Eyre Hall Trilogy, the breathtaking sequel to Jane Eyre. Luccia lives in sunny Spain, but her heart's in Victorian London.

Posted on March 9, 2015, in Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. I was a bit confused and had to reread a few times to understand who was talking and who was the narrator.

    This flash gave so much in what is unsaid about their relationships. It’s lovely. I enjoyed it.

    Chelsea’s quite cunning. Serves Tom right for not knowing her mom’s favorite color.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Typical man! Wasn’t really interested in the small details like colours… at least Alice has a sense of humour!
      I love using multiple first person narrators, but I worry about it working for the reader. Thanks for your feedback 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Love the post and all the info and history about turquoise as I absolutely adore stones and crystals of any sort. All these facts were the basis of my flash this week at Carrot Ranch. 🙂

    Fantastic flash. I got the two narrators, and it works very well for this story, but I did have to read it through twice. Still, I’d say it’s a good choice for this piece. I really like it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yep I’m with the others; the flash works as do the dual narrators. Very enjoyable!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I got the two narrators because you separated them by the *****. Loved the joke played on Tom.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s always good to see writers pushing different techniques such as dual narration, and impressive in 99 words! I could just look at that first photos over and over. Turquoise is a color that requires appreciation. Interesting to know more of it’s global history. I know it’s mentioned in the NIV Bible, but not in the KJV. Mostly, I know of the stone from the American Southwest. Great flash!

    Like

    • Thank you. I’m obsessed with POV, especially multiple 1st person, so I push myself in everything I write! Although I’m painfully aware that it bothers some readers. So glad it seems to have worked, even with such short fiction! Thanks again for the prompt:)

      Like

    • Thank you. I’m obsessed with POV, especially multiple 1st person, so I push myself in everything I write! Although I’m painfully aware that it bothers some readers. So glad it seems to have worked, even with such short fiction! Thanks again for the prompt 🙂

      Like

  6. I admire people who can write flash fiction (and poetry). I’m just too dang wordy! lol I thought it an interesting device to have two narrators, but I did re-read to make sure I understood what was going on. As to turquoise, here in AZ the gem is highly valued and I have a number of good as well as cheapo pieces! Nice to find you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for dropping by and commenting:) I’m too wordy myself I write historical fiction! One of the reasons I write flash fiction, as I explained in an earlier post, is to control my verbosity!

      Like

  7. I thought this was really clever, Lucy, and lucky for Tom that Chelsea’s mother knows what she’s like. Could have been the end of a beautiful relationship – instead it deepens.
    BTW, with the break, I thought the dual narrator works really well, and covers so much in so few words.

    Liked by 1 person

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