#FridayFictioneers ‘The Secret Garden’ #FlashFiction

Posted byLucciaGrayPosted inFriday FictioneersTags:, , , ,

I’ve always loved Fridays, but since I’ve started being a Friday Fictioneer, well I look  forward to them even more! I stare at the picture, think of Alice, and search for Alice’s newest adventure…

Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting the challenge and Liz Young for today’s photo prompt, which led me directly to this weeks’ 100-word story.

PHOTO PROMPT © Liz Young

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The Secret Garden

Alice rushed outside pulling Billy’s arm. ‘I want to show you where she lives.’

‘Someone else lives here?’

Alice nodded.

‘ Who is she?’

‘I don’t know. I’ve tried to talk to her, but she ignores me. She might listen to you.’

Billy chased Alice through the rickety gate and into the secret garden. She sat on the wooden bench and patted the seat beside her. ‘Let’s wait for her here. She’ll be coming out soon.’

Billy sat. ‘Perhaps she doesn’t want to talk to us.’

‘We’ll have to convince her.’

‘Why?’

‘She knows all about the goblins and wizards.’

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All my ‘Alice’ flash fiction written for the Friday Fictioneers Challenge can be read as standalones, but if you’re interested in reading previous stories of Alice’s adventures, here  they are!

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 If you’d like to join in Friday Fictioneers or read other posts check Rochelle’s Blog for rules and prompts. 

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Published by LucciaGray

Writer, blogger, teacher, reader and lover of words wherever they are. Author of The Eyre Hall Trilogy, the breathtaking sequel to Jane Eyre. Luccia lives in sunny Spain, but her heart's in Victorian London.

30 thoughts on “#FridayFictioneers ‘The Secret Garden’ #FlashFiction”

    1. 😂poor Kevin! His daughter’s a handful indeed😀 Thank you for your encouraging comments. ‘She’ depends on the fabulous prompts, of course’ 💟 we’ll see…

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  5. You’ve set a good scene and dialogue between the children. My mind stalled for a sec on the logistics, though. If Alice has never talked to the woman, doesn’t know who she is, how does Alice know what the woman “knows all about”? You need another twenty words to cover that. 🙂

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    1. That’s a good point. Thank you. Perhaps Alice supposes she knows so I could make it clearer by changing the last line to something like ‘I’m sure she know about / she might know all about the goblins and wizads.’ What do you think?

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      1. Or “I believe she knows..” Don’t leave it too iffy. If you had more words to work with you could substantiate that statement with some fact, but the reader will have to accept Alice’s assessment.

        Too many writers publish their books and leave little gaps like this. Me being a stickler for detail and logic, I trip over all of them. 😦

        I just finished a “cozy mystery” where the reader knows nothing to indicate whodunit, then the MC declares, “I know,” and confronts the suspect. She proceeds to rattle off a bunch of facts she’d found via Google that indicate his connection and therefore his guilt. That’s one way of concluding the story but it’s sure not a “reader-friendly” type mystery.

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  6. This reminded me of the book titled The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Lovely… I wonder could you do without the last line ?

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    1. Yes,;thank you for mentioning that. I’ve been thinking about changing the last line due to other comments too. The goblins and wizards are mentioned in an earier story, along with treasure maps and secrets. ..

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  7. I was utterly charmed, as usual, so I didn’t even realize that Alice couldn’t know about the goblins until I read the comments. I’m sure ‘She’ is a ghost, so if Alice knows that, maybe ‘ghosts know all about…” could work.

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    1. Thank you. I’ve been writing about Alice on Friday Fictioneers since February. Although I have four grandchildren, I had never written anything which could be considered children literature before then, and I must admit that I’m enjoying it very much.

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  12. Pingback: #FridayFictioneers ‘Lifesaver’ #FlashFiction #100words | Rereading Jane Eyre

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